19 August 2024
My wife, Abby, is a nurse. Last year, she started a training program on her journey to become a board-certified nurse coach. I was the lucky recipient of a second-hand education. We read and shared what we learned, had dinner conversations about self-improvement, and evolved together.
A nurse coach does not necessarily focus on working with other nurses. They offer their skills to anyone seeking self-improvement. What makes them unique is they are qualified healthcare professionals with board certifications. They specialize in holistic health, wellness, self-mastery, life, and business.
It was fascinating to learn about the whole world of coaching businesses. I never considered how many coaches have no professional training or board certifications. They have self-proclaimed life experiences and hang up a shingle.
I fall into this category. I market myself as a business advisor and mentor in health innovation, biomedical engineering, design philosophy, and social entrepreneurship. I have a Ph.D., a ton of life experience, and many people call me ‘coach.’ Yet, I have no training or board certifications.
Nevertheless, I felt qualified to give my wife entrepreneurship advice throughout her training endeavor. Luckily for our marriage, she was receptive.
One bit of advice I give to all entrepreneurs is: Drink your own grape juice so you can one day celebrate by popping a bottle of your own bubbles.
It is amazing how many software companies don’t use their own software. It blows me away how many people selling solar panels don’t have them on their houses. I can go on forever.
Abby, if you will be a coach, you must get coaching for yourself.
As the words came out, I realized how hypocritical I had been in saying them. Sure, I started a software company and used our software. I designed a design class using the design process taught in the class. That’s all good. However, as a business advisor and mentor, I had never received business advice or mentorship from a trained and board-certified professional.
I put my money where my mouth is and signed a six-month contract with Jen Yang, a former mental health nurse turned Board Certified Nurse Coach and Certified Mastery Method Coach. This would be a win-win. First of all, I would no longer be a hypocrite. Second, it was market research for my wife. I was signing up to experience the whole process, from seeking coaching, buying in, and realizing outcomes from the customer’s perspective—all invaluable to my personal growth and for Abby’s entrepreneurial pursuit.
I went into the experience with an open mind and no agenda. The goal was to continue my journey of self-improvement and progress toward becoming the best version of myself. I have been doing yoga for a decade, exploring meditation, cycling 100 miles a week, and cross-training with strength and mobility exercises. Before starting my journey with Jen Yang, I had developed a vision statement: be a beacon of kindness, strength, and joy. When asked what I sought in the experience, my short answer was “to find enlightenment.”
So what happened? I found something better than enlightenment.
Before I go deeper, here’s a brief list of things I celebrated over my six-month coaching experience with Jen Yang.
Going into the adventure, I had twelve Medium articles, all self-published. During the coaching period, I joined the partner program, was invited/accepted into six publications, wrote 31 articles, had four of them boosted, and was interviewed by Chevie Hanssler of Parasol Publications. I had my first-ever fiction story published. Most importantly, I discovered and cultivated my strongest writing style: memoirs and personal essays.
While working with Jen Yang, my mind-body connection grew stronger than ever. Through meditation, I stopped cramps from taking over my body while doing the most challenging race of my life, a 52-mile gauntlet of single-track, tarmac, and gravel in Northwest Arkansas.
In another race, I suffered a severe rib fracture that I would have expected to set me back several months to get to 100 percent race-ready condition. It took me five weeks. That one still blows my mind.
By practicing nonjudgment, I have released significant tension. I have less neck pain, reduced body aches, and minimized clenching my teeth during sleep.
I practiced Metta Meditation. While I can’t take credit for the places I’m sending positive vibrations, it is joyful to witness others’ successes. My son went from having an uncertain future at work and school to being hired onto a full-time job with benefits. He’s twenty-one. I’m a proud dad. Abby started her business, Abby Kent Coaching, PLLC, and landed her first paid client. I’m a proud husband.
It wasn’t a miracle drug. I have been estranged from my daughter for eight and a half years before coaching and nine years when the six months came to an end. I did, however, release my guilt through a guided session with Jen Yang.
The most important part of this experience was the habit that was formed. I have a cycling, yoga, and exercise routine. They are suitable activities for my mind and soul. But in those cases, my mental and spiritual growth are byproducts of physical activities. Carving out time for coaching established a commitment to have a weekly practice dedicated to mental and spiritual growth as the primary focus. Ironically, one of the byproducts has been realized as better physical health. I plan to continue this practice for the rest of my life. The results speak for themselves.
The highlight outcome of the experience is a weekly family dinner. My coaching has been regularly scheduled for Thursday afternoons. Serendipitously, Abby signed up for a fresh catch at the farmers market with a Thursday pickup. That turned into a tradition of having fish dinners on Thursdays after the coaching session wrapped up. My son, the big shot, loves fish and loves a free meal. He started crashing our dinner when he learned about it.
I started the journey looking for enlightenment but found something better. Through the coaching experience, I realized that enlightenment would be akin to a video game cheat code. The game becomes boring as soon as I discover the code. It suddenly seemed selfish to spend my meditations seeking personal enlightenment rather than spending that same meditation sending vibrations of loving kindness to myself, loved ones, friends, neighbors, and all the world.
Be the beacon of kindness, strength, and joy.
We sit at a hand-crafted table cut from reclaimed redwood. Our food is prepared on plates hand-thrown and fired by a friend. We eat freshly caught fish and locally grown vegetables.
What’s better than enlightenment? A weekly dinner with my wife and son.
Author’s Note: It’s been over two years since I wrote this essay and Abby Kent Coaching has evolved. You can find her publication, Rooted, here on Substack.
Thank you for reading.
Health, happiness, kindness, respect
for every being and all things.
— Andrew
